It's been awhile since I've felt the bitingly awful emotion of loneliness. And I can't completely understand why I'm feeling this way.

Yesterday, I spent the day with friends. Got picked up by Chris and Jonathanne. Stayed at Chris's with him, Jonathanne, and Roldwin until we went to watch Paranormal Activity 2 with a bunch of other friends. Then we ate In-N-Out, for my first time in months, and my last time for months. Went to my house with Jonathanne, Erschel, and Chris. Sleepover.

The rest of the days earlier this week weren't entirely uneventful. I had SOMEthing to do each day. But I think my feeling of "sadness" isn't because I want to stay here for longer; I'm a bit tired of the slow-pace of Oxnard. I do need to get back to Notre Dame. What I think it is, is this feeling that my time back here has fallen short of what I wanted. Now, I'm not entirely sure what I wanted to get from coming back to Oxnard for a week. Rest, sure. Relaxation, a bit. I think what I wanted mostly is to have obtained a confident sense that I would always enjoy coming back to California--that there's people and things I love waiting for me here. And I am completely sure that's true. But yet, I am still saddened.



Ryan